Filed under: Funeral Home How-To | Tags: funeral planning, cremation, cemeteries, caskets, transportation
It’s no secret that 67 percent of American adults are overweight, and of those, 34 percent are obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And some people are just really large or tall. These bigger bodies need bigger caskets for burial, and that has implications for Boomers with bad backs who may be pallbearers.
Standard caskets are between 24 and 27 inches wide, and 80 to 88 inches long. Anything larger is considered an oversize casket, and most major casket manufacturers carry a line specifically for those massive folks who won’t fit into standard sizes. The Goliath Casket Company, “Standing in the Gap for the Big and Tall,” makes caskets that range from 29 to 52 inches wide, and up to eight feet long.
Goliath offers some points to consider when funeral planning for “one of the bigger people.”
- Let the funeral director know that your loved one is one of the bigger people.
- Sometimes special arrangements must be made to accommodate the size of the casket.
- The service may need to be moved to another location due to doorway restrictions for the size of the casket.
- You may need to think of a different method of transport that honors your loved one, because the casket may not fit into a traditional hearse.
- You may need to be prepared to buy two grave plots for this one person. Check with the funeral director and/or the cemetery operator about preparing a correctly sized gravesite.
- If you are considering cremation, have your funeral director confirm this option is available.
And if you are asked to be a pallbearer for “one of the bigger people,” find out how the funeral director is going to help you carry out this honor without damaging any vertebrae. Between the weight of the person and the casket, you may be looking at moving 400 to 500 pounds – a quarter of a ton. Distributed among six people, that’s still 66 to 83 pounds each.
In many cases, pallbearers will simply escort the casket, which is on a special gurney, out of the service and help transfer it into the hearse – or whatever mode of transportation will be used. You might check if a similar arrangement can be made for transfer from the hearse to the grave, as that’s where the real heavy lifting and carrying takes place. Perhaps a graveside service is the answer, so the funeral home takes care of all the moving and positioning in advance.
The Wall Street Journal did an article last week titled Love, Honor, Cherish and Scatter. The story traces the ash scattering adventures of Michelle Paris, who has been scattering the cremated remains of her husband, Donald Mitchem.
With the help of a group of friends, his ashes have been spread in the Pacific Ocean, in New York’s Central Park, discreetly in a Donald Duck topiary at Disneyland, in the African nation of Namibia, outside a beer garden in Germany, and on the Walk of the Gods trail on Italy’s Amalfi Coast. She never sought permits to do this, so it’s known as “wildcat scattering.”
It’s all a part of the freedom from tradition that cremation offers to folks who want to get creative with cremains. When funeral planning, consider the personality of the person. If they liked to travel, or loved specific spots, scattering the ashes far and wide may be more meaningful than preserving them in an urn or burying them in a cemetery.
Today’s Pearls Before Swine cartoon shows artist Stephan Pastis mourning the loss of his father-in-law. Within a seven-panel strip, he eloquently eulogizes a wonderful man, and shows how the compassion of a hug can help those who grieve. Check it out – It’s very moving.
Today’s Bizarro cartoon is titled “The Last Stage of Grief: Comedy” and features pie-throwing with the Grim Reaper
And the F Minus cartoon has the Grim Reaper as the life of the party, ironically.
That Grim Reaper really gets around!
Filed under: Field Notes | Tags: death certificates, funeral planning, weddings
I’m going to be speaking on Monday to Santa Fe Doorways, a network of care providers, on “Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.” The event takes place at 11:45 a.m. on February 8 at the Ponce de Leon Retirement Center, 640 Alta Vista, Santa Fe, NM. All are welcome – it’s free! You may bring your own lunch. Questions: 505-988-9222.
Here’s a preview of what I’ll be talking about:
American adults are big on planning – financial planning, family planning, career planning, retirement planning, vacation planning, wedding planning. But funeral planning doesn’t make it onto most folk’s planning radar, and that can throw a wrench into the rest of life’s plans.
As the classic Monty Python skit goes, “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” And nobody expects to die, despite the fact that humans have a 100% mortality rate. If you don’t expect to die, you’re unlikely to pre-plan a funeral. And that leads to problems which could be avoided, if only we take the time to make some plans.
We’re going to look at funeral planning by the numbers:
· Two events: Weddings and Funerals – the similarities
· Three Big Reasons Why People Don’t Plan Funerals
· Four Good Reasons to Plan Ahead
· Five Things You Must Know NOW Before Someone Dies
Today’s Pickles cartoon continues with Earl’s dabbling in obituary writing.
He presents his finished draft to Opal, who promptly announces, “This is all a bunch of hooey. You made most of this stuff up.”
His reply: “That’s a matter of interpretation.”
Her comeback: “And Rhodes Scholar isn’t spelled r-o-a-d-s.”
Okay, here are some insights on helpful information to include when writing an obituary that can serve as a family record:
Date of birth and date of death (age at death optional)
Names of spouse, children, grandchildren
Announcement of funeral arrangements
That’s the bare bones basics for an obit. If you want to add more, consider including education, military service, career highlights, and interests. And a philosophy of life – I’m sure Earl would do that.
In addition to today’s Pickles on obituaries, Lio and Close to Home feature the Grim Reaper.
In Pickles, Earl’s daughter checks in with him on how it’s going with writing his obituary, since, as he says, “Most of them are so boring and poorly written. I don’t want mine to be like that.” His daughter notes, “It says you were a special consultant on the economy to President Reagan.” Earl had sent him a letter once. He explained, “I’m going more for a compelling read than for literal accuracy.”
As the saying goes “When the legend becomes truth, print the legend.” (from the film The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance)
In the Lio strip, little Lio prepares an unusual bag lunch and gives it to the Grim Reaper and sends him off for the day.
And in Close To Home, a psychiatrist seeks to help a patient overcome his fear of death with a Grim Reaper doll.
Today’s Pickles cartoon has Earl commenting that obituaries are poorly written and telling Opal, “I hope if you end up writing mine you’ll do a better job of it.” She says, “Why don’t you just write it yourself?” He says “Ooh! That’s not a bad idea.” and the last panel, he’s writing on the computer:
“A sweet wonderful man died today, and no one knows how the world can survive without him.”
This may be the start of a fascinating series. Stay tuned…
Filed under: Funeral Home How-To | Tags: funeral planning, memorial services, cremation, caskets
In the not-too-distant future, you could be cremated wrapped in banana leaves.
Between the down economy and consumers’ growing desire for “green” options, changes are afoot for the manufacturers of caskets designed to be burned in a cremation retort.
“It’s a changing field, and our members are responding with new products,” said Mark Allen, the Executive Director of the Casket and Funeral Supply Association of America (www.cfsaa.org), which represents suppliers to funeral homes. “Families that may not have considered cremation are looking at it now because of lower costs.”
The lowest cost option is to use a cremation container – essentially a cardboard box big enough to hold a body – and not purchase a casket. A memorial service or celebration of life could be held with the cremated remains, rather than a funeral with the body present.
The rental casket has been around for at least a decade. You rent the box, which is nice enough for presentation at a funeral, and the removable liner is taken out with the body and burned in the retort. Renting is less expensive than buying.
Hybrid caskets are cremation caskets designed to burn in a retort and still be appropriate for a more traditional viewing and funeral. They are essential made of wood particle press board with a veneer surface. It looks like solid wood but breaks down easily in the retort.
A solid wood casket is more expensive for a cremation, and it takes longer to burn. Soft woods such as pine or poplar will burn better than a hardwood casket, and soft wood caskets cost less.
Those who want to go green with their cremation can get a bamboo casket, a woven wicker container, or even be wrapped in bamboo leaves. But, as Allen points out, “That would still have to get the support of a funeral home or the individual crematory which can set its own standards.”
“There are preconceived images of a funeral, and we want people to know there are many meaningful options out there,” said Allen.
Filed under: Memorable Life Celebrations | Tags: funeral planning, life celebrations, memorial services
Our stuff is a reflection of our lives, and a well put-together tabletop display of items can tell volumes about the person. The display can be assembled at a number of venues – at visitations at a funeral home, at the memorial service, either in the service or at a reception, and at home while receiving visitors.
Include any items that have meaning and can lead to storytelling. For example, my husband and I put out these items at the reception after his father’s funeral: a photo portrait of his dad, a cartoon of Dad recording dog sounds, a small set of trains, a gilded rose, plaques that honored his contributions to education, a Lipton tea bag, and pictures of the family through the years.
I’ve seen memorial displays that included woodworking tools, artwork and jewelry made by the deceased, books, flowers, and even entire outfits on mannequins. There’s a limitless range of items that can be included. Look for items frequently used by the person, things they made themselves, or expressed their varied interests.
When funeral planning, consider bringing the display to the place the service will be held. If the reception will be held in a different place, move the items and set up the display so attendees can further peruse the items that were meaningful in the life of your loved one.
