Robert Brian Burkhardt, the funeral director who wrote the Your Funeral Guy blog, died after a heart attack on January 19, 2011. He was 58 years old.
In a sad irony, while he was a crusader for funeral consumers, he left his family totally unprepared – no life insurance, no wishes to follow, no computer passwords on file.
Under the nom de plume R. Brian Burkhardt, to distinguish himself from others with the same name, his Your Funeral Guy blog challenged the practices of the funeral industry, from suppliers to funeral homes to cemeteries.
He wrote about wide cost variations for funeral products and services, news, scams and trends in the funeral industry, and he reviewed funeral related books. He started the blog in November 2007 and his last posting was January 17, 2011.
Burkhardt also wrote Rest in Peace: Insider’s Tips to the Low Cost Less Stress Funeral
He was quoted in stories by The New York Times, Newsweek, Dow Jones Newswires, Fox News, MSN.com Money Central, and other news outlets.
His crusade against the excesses of the funeral industry came out of his personal experiences as a funeral director in Washington, D.C., Wisconsin and Illinois. He witnessed some consumers getting exquisite traditional funerals for thousands of dollars less than normal cost. He vowed to help the ordinary consumer reduce their funeral expenses.
Burkhardt worked for nine years as a newspaper distribution manager for the Naperville Sun. After being laid off when the company was sold in 2000, he decided to become a funeral director and minister to families in their time of need.
He obtained his mortuary associates degree from Worsham College of Mortuary Science. He also held a degree in political science from Illinois State University.
“He loved to serve families and didn’t want to take them for as much money as possible at the time of the funeral,” said his wife Mary. “He worked for some really unethical people. He admired the profession but not those people who take advantage of the bereaved.”
A news junkie who loved history, Burkhardt enjoyed taking the family to visit sites such as Mount Vernon and Williamsburg, Virginia when the family lived in the Washington, D.C. area. He and his wife Mary have two daughters, Alexandra and Sarah.
Burkhardt was born September 19, 1952 in Berwyn, Illinois and grew up in Elmhurst, IL. He was diagnosed with diabetes in 1995 and developed lung embolisms in 2008. He spent a year recovering at home, during which time he wrote his book and worked on the Your Funeral Guy blog.
“I can’t believe Bob didn’t tell me a thing,” observed Mary Burkhardt. “It would have helped me have better closure to have information. I had no wishes to follow.”
The family was left financially destitute, with no money for funeral services or an obituary in the newspaper. They used cheapest cremation service they could find nearby.
Word of his death is only now coming out because Mrs. Burkhardt was able to retrieve his phone messages after asking the phone company to grant her access, since she didn’t have his PIN number or passwords. (She called me after I had left a message of concern when I noticed he hadn’t posted in two months.)
Ironically, on Your Funeral Guy blog, Burkhardt had responded to a comment on a page about free online memorials, Dead Facebook Society, on January 14, 2011, just five days before he died.
His body was cremated after organs were harvested for donation. May Bob Burkhardt’s memory be a blessing.
Your Funeral Guy R. Brian Burkhardt
14 Comments so far
Leave a comment
I am very, very sorry to hear this. I’d also emailed, all the while fearing the worst. Brian possessed a quality of unflinching singlemindedness which is the hallmark of a dedicated and indefatigable campaigner. He was generous towards those whom he approved and he inspired great affection in those whose relationship with him was ‘virtual’. His words reached out beyond the US – as I, UK-based, can testify. My condolences to his family. I wish I had met him.
Comment by Charles Cowling April 12, 2011 @ 1:59 pmGail,
Thanks for writing his obituary.
He was passionate about watching out for the interests of the bereaved. He exposed and bore the wrath of many nefarious funeral directors and funeral industry suppliers. He shared with me that in covering the funeral industry, he would never be short of on stories. His was the lone voice warning consumers to avoid the many unscrupulous practices in the death care industry.
Bob, requiescat in pace.
Comment by Ed Gazvoda April 12, 2011 @ 9:10 pmThat’s a real shame. I enjoyed reading his many blogs over the past year or so. This surprised me!
Comment by Tyler Fraser April 14, 2011 @ 12:44 pmGail,
I too, thank you for this obituary. Brian and I had a couple of disagreements, but agreed on so many other items. I had wondered what had happened. I appreciated his focus on protecting consumers, something so few attempt. He truly helped so many, probably far more than he realized.
Comment by James Patton April 14, 2011 @ 11:38 pm[...] Read More [...]
Pingback by What Happened To Funeral Consumer Advocate R. Brian Burkhardt? « James Patton Funeral Directors April 15, 2011 @ 12:08 amNice obituary
Comment by Funeral services UK July 24, 2011 @ 12:20 pmIncredibly sorry to have learned of Brian’s death. He was an incredible inspiration and strong voice to so many of us in the funeral profession. My condolences to the family on the loss of this great crusader.
Comment by Amber Lenore Winckler June 12, 2011 @ 9:40 amAmber Winckler
Author, THE FINAL BATH
I have been working on a “book” which will hopefully lead to community presentations about being prepared for death. That is to say, it is more about leaving your family and loved ones logistically prepared for your death. While researching, I just recently came across his BLOG and was thrilled to have his wisdom, wit, and attitude to share. At first I thought it was another sarcastic blog to see his “obit”. I remain in disbelief…maybe because…there for the grace of God…please let me know how to contact his family…what a loss, what a shock, once again it seems to verify that only the good die young. Condolences to all of us who appreciated him!!!
Comment by Janice Wood June 16, 2011 @ 8:42 amBob actually had 4 daughters. (Note from Gail Rubin – I did not hear details about his previous marriage, so thank you for helping to set the record straight.)
Comment by Sarah Johnson June 25, 2011 @ 1:08 pmHis advocacy spilled into zealotry. That said, condolences to his family. I am always amazed someone defines themselves by certain beliefs and causes, but neglects them in their personal life. I hope if nothing else this underlines the importance of preparing for one’s demise. Organize your records, accounts, passwords, etc.; most people need at least a modest amount of insurance.
Comment by Benjamin Simpson June 28, 2011 @ 4:33 pmGail:
I had wondered why Robert was no longer responding to my emails. In our last conversation, he did tell me he was going in for a quick surgery as an outpatient. He never disclosed what it was nor did I pry. I am the owner of Legacy Cards.com and my company provides a means to carry the cremated remains of loved one’s in a purse, pocket, or wallet. Robert found my website and wanted to bring it nationally for me. We developed a mutual love for helping others in time of need. Robert even interviewed me and placed me on his blog (12/24/2010). He never asked for a dime although I did offer a % if it took off. I am saddened to learn of his passing.
Because Robert fully believed in my product, I feel I owe it to him to have his image on one of my cards and given to his family at my expense. Is there a way I could placed in touch with his wife and family so I could arrange this? If not, perhaps you could pass along a web site to the family and they can contact me through that.
http://www.legacycards.com
Many Regards,
Kenneth Meyer
Comment by Kenneth Meyer July 20, 2011 @ 11:33 amOwner, Legacy Cards
(484) 894-7275
I had the blessing of getting to know Bob and speaking with him regularly. He was always there for me with kinds words and advice as I went through some very dark times. He will be greatly missed.
Comment by John DiBenedetto September 12, 2011 @ 10:06 amOh no! What a trip. I had JUST spoken with Robert on the phone around the time he died. We had been in contact about my own advocacy for end-of-life planning and he was going to send me his book. I never received the book and never received any responses to my emails. This is really too sad, and I’m so sorry for his family’s loss. I am so sorry I’m just finding out now and sending my best wishes to his family.
Comment by Roma Giannina November 28, 2011 @ 5:33 pmBob and I were chums during our early teens. Good memories like trips to the YMCA, hoops in the back yard, ping pong and playing 45′s in his basement. I liked Bob, and a few years back he reached out to me to get reacquainted. I even bought a few books from him to share. Too bad our paths did not cross more often. I am sad.
Comment by - pb August 15, 2012 @ 10:12 pm